Black Horse SpiritBlack Horse Spirit

Cindy L. McGinley, MHC, CCTP, CHt

Cindy McGinley

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Coping With Grief/Loss

If you’ve recently lost someone or something, you may be going through the grieving process. Below, we explain what grief is and how long the grieving process can be expected to take. We also offer some tips on how to cope with loss.

What Is Grief?

The emotional pain that you feel after a loss is known as “grief.” Someone who’s grieving may feel a combination of shock, disbelief, sadness, anger, fear, and guilt, which can make it difficult to eat, sleep, and engage in other routine activities. It’s common for people to lose or gain weight, become sick, and feel achy.

Many people think of grief only in terms of the death of a loved one, but it can also occur when someone loses their:

  • Health (their own health or a loved one’s health)
  • Marriage, engagement, or dating relationship
  • Friendship
  • Job
  • Money
  • House or personal property
  • Dream
  • Sense of safety (this often occurs after someone experiences a trauma)

Grief can be divided into numerous categories, including anticipatory grief, complicated grief, and disenfranchised grief.

How Long Does the Grieving Process Take?

There’s no easy answer to this question, as the grieving timeline varies from one person to another. Some individuals heal within weeks or months, while others continue grieving for years. Many people go through the five stages of grief—which include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—but it’s possible to heal without experiencing all (or any) of these stages.

How to Cope With Loss

Many people who are grieving a loss find it helpful to speak with a therapist. In addition to therapy, you may want to try:

  • Talking to your loved ones
  • Joining a bereavement support group or another type of support group
  • Writing in a journal
  • Turning to your faith (if you’re religious or spiritual)
  • Eating a nutritious diet
  • Exercising
  • Participating in your regular hobbies

The Help You Need to Heal From Loss

If you’re having a difficult time coping with loss, you should consider speaking to a therapist who specializes in grief. Contact us today to schedule an appointment.

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Managing Work Life Balance

Do you have trouble balancing work and your personal life? If so, you’re not alone. According to Mental Health America (MHA), almost 40% of U.S. adults who are employed full time reported working 50+ hours a week, and 18% work 60+ hours.

Despite how common it is for people to work long hours, having a healthy work-life balance is critical. Working too many hours—especially if it bleeds into your evenings, weekends, and holidays—can cause you to:

  • Feel stressed and burnt out
  • Strain your relationships with your loved ones
  • Neglect your hobbies and self-care activities

All of this, in turn, can negatively impact your physical, mental, emotional, and social health.

How to Achieve a Healthy Work-Life Balance

Creating a healthy work-life balance can sometimes be difficult, but it’s certainly doable. Here are some steps you can take to balance work and your personal life:

  • Manage your time. There are various time management techniques—such as Pomodoro timers—that can help increase your productivity, meaning that you’ll get more work accomplished in a shorter amount of time.
  • Multitask. If your job allows it, try to get some work done while simultaneously engaging in a self-care activity. For example, you could listen to a seminar while you go on a walk or do some laundry.
  • Set boundaries. Decide what times you’ll be starting and stopping work each day and stick to that schedule as best you can. Also be sure to set aside time for vacation days even if you’re not planning an out-of-town trip.

Get Help Balancing Your Work & Personal Life

Work-life balance plays a crucial role in our overall health and happiness, so if you’re struggling in this area, we invite you to contact us and schedule a therapy session. We look forward to helping you take the steps needed to balance work and your personal life.

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Effects of Child Abuse on Adult Survivors

Each year in this country millions of children are the victims of child abuse at the hands of parents, guardians and other adults. Whether this abuse is physical, sexual, verbal or emotional, it can leave scars on their heart and psyche for many years.

Here are just some of the long-term effects of child abuse on adult survivors:

Forming Healthy Bonds and Relationships

The lingering effects of childhood abuse make it very difficult to trust others and form normal, healthy connections. Survivors may find it particularly difficult to maintain successful romantic relationships as they may not be able to ever let their guard down and be truly vulnerable with their partner. 

Developing Health Conditions

Childhood abuse can eventually take a toll on our physical health and well-being. In fact, an NIH study suggests that certain symptoms are common in abuse victims, particularly in women who experienced sexual abuse as a child. Symptoms range from back pain to eating disorders, nightmares, severe headaches and even fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue.

A Lack of Confidence

All children should feel safe and secure growing up. In a normal, healthy childhood, a child can emotionally attach to one or more adults who make them feel safe and secure. But in a childhood where the individual suffered some form of abuse, they may never have been able to form trusting bonds with others. And a lack of these secure attachments can negatively impact our ability to interact with the world around us as adults.

Getting the Help You Need to Move Through the Trauma

If you’re an adult who survived childhood abuse, there is help out there for you. While you cannot change the past, you can heal from the trauma so you can change your present and future.  

If you would like to explore treatment in a safe and secure setting, please reach out to me. I am here to provide the tools and safe space in which to explore and process your trauma. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and you can have the amazing life you know you deserve.

SOURCES:

https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/what-to-know-adult-survivor-child-abuse

https://www.okrehab.org/mental-health-guide/how-child-abuse-affects-adult-survivors/

https://www.stepupformentalhealth.org/how-the-effects-of-child-abuse-can-impact-us-as-adults/

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How Your Diet Can Affect Mood, Cognition, & Sleep

Most of us are aware that what we eat can affect our waistline. But did you know that the foods you eat can also impact your brain, which means they can affect your mood, cognition, and sleep?

Think of Your Brain Like an Expensive Car

Cars need fuel to operate. Some cars do fine no matter what type of gas you put in the tank. But expensive cars typically only do well when you fill the tank with premium gas.

Your brain is like an expensive car. You can try and feed it what YOU want and what YOU think is delicious, but it probably won’t operate optimally. In fact, your brain can actually become damaged if you feed it the wrong foods. For example, many processed and refined foods are harmful to your brain, causing inflammation and toxic overload. Diets high in refined carbohydrates not only promote inflammation but also oxidative stress and worsen your body’s regulation of insulin. 

All of this damage affects how your brain operates. That means when you eat poorly, you increase the risk of developing a mood disorder such as depression and anxiety, a cognitive impairment (making it hard to think clearly or remember information), and sleep issues.

And then it becomes a vicious cycle, because once our sleep takes a hit and our mood takes a hit and we can’t focus well, we intuitively want to reach for comfort foods that are usually unhealthy, and the cycle starts all over.

Making Lifestyle Changes Your Brain Will Thank You For

Life is easier and just feels better when our brains are working for us, not against us. With that in mind, here are some lifestyle choices you can make that will keep your brain working optimally:

Skip the Soft Drinks

One of the easiest changes you can make is to stop drinking soda, even sugar-free sodas, which can still impact your insulin levels. Opt for water instead. 

Eat Plenty of Healthy Fats

Your brain is 60% fat. It needs fat to thrive. But not all fats are created equally. Stay away from trans fats. These are fats made in a laboratory and are found in processed foods. Seed oils, vegetable oils – these are bad fats!

Healthy fats are those from grass-fed or pastured animals as well as nuts and avocados!

Take Care of Your Gut

Your gut health directly impacts the health of the rest of your body, including your brain. To be healthy, your gut needs a lot of good bacteria – AKA probiotics. So be sure to eat foods rich in probiotics. This can include sauerkraut, kimchi, Greek yogurt, kefir, and any fermented veggies you like!

Your brain does an awful lot for you. Isn’t it time you start paying more attention to what it needs? Eat right and you will experience a big change in your mood, how you think and how you sleep!

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How to Support Your Mental Health Between Therapy Sessions

Therapy is a wonderful way to explore your inner world, process your feelings, and inspire transformation. But what my clients often tell me is that a day or so after our session, they begin to feel a little lost and anxious again.

It’s important to support the progress you’ve made with your therapist in between your sessions. Here is what I advise my own clients to do in between our sessions:

Keep Your A-ha Moments in Mind

Therapy is a space for profound A-ha moments. It’s important to hold onto those in the days after your session. Think more deeply about what was uncovered and see if any other pieces of information come to the surface. It’s a great idea to have a dedicated notebook to jot down anything that may come to you. Bring this with you to your next session so you can share your additional insights with your therapist.

Read

Ask your therapist to recommend some helpful books, blogs, or articles that may offer deeper insights into your issue. While reading about your issue will not resolve it on its own, it’s a great way to supplement your therapy sessions.

Journal

I have been an advocate for journaling for quite some time, so I was thrilled when research in the Journal of the American Medical Association stated that journaling has both mental and physical benefits. Journaling not only helps to manage stress and reduce anxiety, but it also can alleviate the symptoms of depression.

If you did just these three things, you would find your time in between sessions would be more enjoyable and help to facilitate further positive change.

SOURCES:

https://www.foundationscounselingllc.com/blog/what-to-do-between-therapy-sessions.php

https://themighty.com/topic/mental-health/mental-health-support-tools-to-use-between-therapy-sessions/

https://urbanwellnesscounseling.com/things-to-do-between-therapy-sessions/